In our last correspondence I told you Detective Felix had brought in a bag labeled "Socialism and the 80th Congress." I also implied that I would let you know about that cat. But, as it turns out, the lot of cats were too interested in the dictionary conspiracy and they insist that I finish with it, all of them knowing there’s much more to this story than last reported, and that Homo sapiens being (next to themselves of course) their favorite species should know there’s a lot more to it from just what little I’ve told you. After all – they have run, hidden and sacrificed almost nine lives to get these truths out to you, and I agree.

Just to touch on Detective Felix a bit, he did return with that bag, and had traced the Socialism cat back here to the Tuna shop. I’m sure he is among us somewhere, but, being just released, is still hiding right now. In the meantime, Detective Felix has some good leads on that 14th Amendment cat, so please stay in touch with us and make sure we have the necessary contacts for you to share in this information once we recover communications with that fleeing fugitive cat-out-of-the-bag.

Okay, I am back with Mr. "Dictionary" Cat (most of them decline to give actual names for fear of being recaptured by their baggers; I assign nicknames accordingly), and he has filled in some additional history that we should first be aware of.

I have been very busy with examining their dictionaries, and, I assure you, those books are everything these cats say they are. From what I’ve been shown, the wars against the true definitions begin in 1823 when a man by the name of John Taylor wrote that book called New views of the Constitution. After reading it, I certainly owe you an explanation on how those words pointed out to me by Mr. Cat were modified in conspiracy with our enemies from the very beginning, at which time Mr. Taylor exposed the national form already put into practice.

Let’s pick up with when Mr. Taylor Cat eased into the discussion by stating, "If you are a constitutional historian, then you will know that no publication of the debates at the constitutional convention was released to the public until 1818. That is correct, my Sapien friend; the government officers operated from 1789 until 1818 with their own interpretation of what they were and while feeling that the confederation should function as they saw fit. It turns out that the delegates had already begun practicing as if those States having given them limited authority retained no rights, and that the government was a strict national regime. But, once John Taylor read the debates, he wrote his book exposing the facts: that the confederated States were behaving as if a national government had been ratified. His first chapter begins with the meaning of certain words, and here I quote Mr. Taylor: "I shall attempt to ascertain the nature of our form of government, and the existence of a project to alter it. Principles and words are the disciplinarians of construction, but the latter require definitions to come at truth" (New Views of the Constitution, section I, 1823). Here we find his argument against the national government by going through words such as Union, Federal, Compact, United, Congress, State, etc. So the stage was set for the continued debates to grow further apart even to a state of war. It will be remembered that John Taylor had every lexicographer in the English-speaking world to support his claims, including Noah Webster.

"Thanks," I replied to Mr. Taylor Cat. "What I gather now is that, because of this book written by John Taylor, nationalism lost its primary thrust as many statesmen, including John C. Calhoun, for instance, came to the light of its truth. This began the States’ Rights arguments about the power to nullify Federal (keeping in mind Federal meant Confederate at the time) Laws."

Daniel Webster (not the dictionary’s dedicated keeper, Noah), while throughout the early 1830s ignoring the compact’s true basis, argued in the halls of Congress for the national side despite understanding the meanings of its words. It should also be pointed out that Daniel Webster was an associate to Noah Webster if not an outright friend, for letters found by historians show their having written to one another. This being the case, how can one excuse Daniel Webster’s brutalizing the federal compact and imagining a national charter? Taylor also pointed out that the Constitution was framed with the word "national" in it, but one of the first things done on June 25th, 1787 was to strike out the words "national" and replace them with "United States of America" as found in the Article of Confederation.

Now we are beginning to see what had transpired here: the nationalists sending in their arguments on wooden pegs since their conclusions didn’t have a leg to stand on; and, if not for a cat that got out of the bag, here we would still be seeing our long-trouser-wearing nationalists walking, or so appearing, among us even as sprinters or marathon runners. We would have been deceived from the very beginning. But, as it turns out, we now know that such a cat actually has pulled the curtain open and exposed the great Daniel Webster as a wizard of clods.

This enlightened revelation at the time leveled any national theory before it could utter a syllable of untruths. The reply by those who didn’t like having their wings clipped was to begin a wrecking campaign against all lawful States’ Rights doctrines, and since that couldn’t be accomplished via truth it had to be done with force. The principles laid out by our confederated States would now come under attack from mercenary rather than the true meanings well understood by our forefathers. Slavery as the front issue would cause so much confusion that the actual form of government might be overlooked. But this worked only to instigate the secession of several States treasuring their sovereignty, after which unelected usurpers overthrew by the might of the sword those original precepts and agreements.

Realizing in 1864 that the aggressors would win insofar as physical force was concerned, now the power of information that had checked the eventual instigators of that war in 1823 would surely rise again. So chaining this truth away forever would involve altering public concepts regarding the principles and forms of our republic; thus the power hungry took to deceit. First they begin by smuggling false definitions to the people under the wraps of a famous dictionary, Merriam Webster’s having got control of the name when Noah Webster died. Next task, find a way to do away with the equally-noted Dictionary by Joseph Worcester. Remember, prior to the War of Northern Aggression – and known as the "Great Dictionary Wars" – all the literati of the times gladiated the works of Noah Webster and Joseph Worcester as superior lexicographers. The most educated and elite men split hairs over which was the best overall, little difference supporting any preference. It seems as the war went on that it was more and more clear that neither lexicographer had much on the other. So, exactly what happened, that one of these dictionarians disappeared into obscurity where the other kept his household popularity?

While not having found the cat that could tell us, it’s possible both dictionary companies were approached about their willingness to make falsified definitions to counter Taylor’s ad populi arguments revealing what had been agreed upon, and certain facts suggest why one of those otherwise equal lexicographers was blackballed into oblivion.

First, Worcester’s 1864 edition and all issues thereafter never falsified these words, and even in supplements pointed out that changes were due to the so-called Civil War. As late as 1904 (which is the last I have found of Worcester’s work) it still retained the true definitions. Fact two: The new regime displayed signs in government printing offices instructing proofreaders, editors and compositors to "FOLLOW WEBSTER." And then the Merriam Webster Company bragged of its pedigree by claiming that Webster was the choice of the Courts. In some of their old dictionaries a page can be found quoting Supreme Court Justices praising the work of Webster (Merriam, that is, for Noah Webster’s works were barely to be found after the verbal ambuscades had distilled them out and concocted a new language brew. This potion has been the American drink ever since).

Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes announced publicly that he preferred Webster over Worcester, but the final blow came when Charles W. Eliot, President of Harvard, wrote in 1900 that he had made use of Worcester’s for the past ten years but now would happily replace Worcester with Webster. It should also be noted that Eliot called the Merriam Webster Dictionary "The Revision."

I shall now quote from the pen of Robert Keith Leavitt in his book titled Noah’s Ark, New England Yankees and the Endless Quest, published by the G. G. Merriam Company, 1947, page 67: "The West Point cadets were furnished with a copy of Webster for each room – and required to keep it in good condition. Schools in State after State and city after city (prodded by a well organized ‘adoption campaign’ from Springfield) standardized on Webster. Legislatures made Webster their authority by resolution, and courts followed this lead, right up to the Supreme Court of the United States. In every executive department of the Federal Government Webster was the authority." It should further be noted that imperialistic countries flocked for rights to make Webster (Merriam, that is) the chief dictionary for educating their subjects. The King of Siam, the Sayid of Aleppo, and China, were among those so beseeching; this in light of the fact that many other English dictionaries were still being published and remained available – such as Johnson’s Walker’s, Bailey’s, Boag’s; and, foremost, Joseph Worcester; not to mention a dozen other fully-qualified lexicographers.

Adding all of the above to what these cats have already meowed into my ears as reported to you in two previous editions of this newspaper, we can see that old saying "Curiosity killed the cat" is nothing more than a myth; but the cat-out-of-the-bag has become a major source for information. The dishes are now empty and they’re wanting to cat nap, so,

I shall get with you next time on the one that Detective Felix tracked back here. He did saunter on, joined the salmon feast, even spoke very good English. It will be interesting.